Fr. Late’s Guide to Texting

You may find this surprising but some clergy in the Anglican Communion are not fluent in “text speak.” Or at least they do not, like me, keep a 20-something junior curate on retainer to handle all issues technological.

This point was driven home for me recently when I learned that a colleague, who shall remain nameless, inadvertently yet inappropriately responded to a pastoral situation with the wrong texting language. You could argue that pastoral care should never be conducted by any means other than face-to-face contact. But anyway, here was the situation:

Said cleric, upon hearing via electronic mail that a parishioner had just been diagnosed with cancer and was distraught, wrote back to her “LOL.” Clearly not his finest pastoral moment — although perhaps he learned his pastoral theology at a lesser low-church seminary that also shall not be named. He mistakenly thought LOL meant “lots of love” rather than “laugh out loud.”

In this vein I offer you, my dear children,  an updated guide to the 10 most common texting terms. Use them with abandon in all church communications.

LOL – Lo! Osculate Lavishly (alternate meaning: Lovin’ Oscar Late)

TTYL – Ten Thuribles Yield Liturgy

CUL8R – Eight Red Chasubles

ROFL – Rubrics of Father Late

OMG –Omit Maniple Grudgingly

CYA – Catholic Yet Anglican

WTF — Wafers Taste Fine

BFF – Buy Fine Frankincense

GTG –  Genuflect, thou! Grandly!

LMAO — Lengthy Mass? Anglicans OK.


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May I share this on my blog? That is too funny.

Comment by Sarah SSM on January 31, 2011 9:31 pm

Yes, my child, you may this on your blog. Or, for that matter, you may hire a sky writer and share it that way. I am always pleased for my wisdom to be spread far and wide.

Yours in the Lord,

Comment by Fr. Oscar Late on February 1, 2011 12:04 am

Before Rest, Benediction

Comment by Emperor N on February 1, 2011 12:13 am

BES – Before Evensong, Sherry!

Comment by Raspberry Rabbit on February 3, 2011 1:04 pm

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