Welcome to the Incense Cellar

Entrance to my home Incense Cellar (note the fine cabernet outside the door)

Many of you have inquired about my world-renowned incense cellar. While I only admit specially trained curates, I graciously have decided to offer my extended congregation a one-time peek behind the wall of smoke.

Before this journey begins, I would remind you that to covet is a sin. I would also add that until scratch-‘n-sniff blogging software is available you will not receive the full impact of the incense cellar’s majesty. The aroma is heavenly.

I possess, of course, a wide range of incenses. The rarest are in direct apostolic succession to the frankincense of the Magi. The majority are 16th century blends that I keep in locked, temperature-controlled boxes. These are used on feast days devoted to our Lady.

Modern blends are trickier as many smell like undercroft urinals — hardly worthy of my fine, antique thurible collection. Fortunately, I keep a junior curate on staff whose sole function is to scour the globe in search of blends worthy of the celebration of Solemn High Mass.

The incense itself is used in my magnificent parish church as well as my home oratory. Matching feast days to particular blends is a high calling of which few, if any, are worthy.

Yours in the Lord,


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I certainly hope that in your stash you have some of that wonderful Greek Orthodox rose and orange incense. That stuff is wonderful. And I have it on good authority that the rose incense is what Our Lord used on Holy Thrusday.

Comment by James on August 10, 2010 5:06 pm

The door to your incense cellar looks much like that to a good wine cellar. But I’m sure that’s because of the similar requirements for temperature control. I personally only use pure frankincense from The Horn of Africa carried to my supplier on camel back.

Comment by Amelia on August 10, 2010 5:17 pm

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